Mother in law is such a funny set of words...its like there is something legal about it! But its better then "saas" and the connotation that goes with it. I had never heard anything good about mother in laws from anyone...from my sis, my cousins, my friends they all cribbed about m-i-ls. But I had made up my mind to "deconstruct" all preconcieved notions and give the most important woman in D's life a fair chance and I expected the same from her.
So I was as nervous about meeting D as I was about meeting his mom.
She had come to Delhi few days before our wedding. She was expecting me to recieve her but I couldn't. So the first time I met her was at my wedding (Although I had talked to her over the phone a couple of times). So on that day...this lady comes to me and she has the biggest smile and she said "I am mummy" She kept looking at me for a while! And I could tell she liked what she saw (hehe). She talked to the others from their side I couldn't understand much of what they said but seemed like things were good (Sigh of relief!)
In the few days that I stayed with her I tried to bond with her...she told me all about D's childhood and other such stuff. She had expected a NRI bahu to be full of herself, so she was pleasantly surprised. The first time I made something (tea!) for everyone she hugged me.
Then one evening she heard me in the kitchen while everyone else had gone to sleep, and on seeing me warming salt water for D to gargle (he had a sore throat) tears almost came to her eyes...as she said "Now I don't have to worry about D, I know he is in good hands"
I just hope I can meet her renewed expectations...I will try.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
twice in an year?
So D has been asking me to visit him in August...and he is pretty persistent, my mom and sisters empathize with him and so when i talk to them I get to hear so when are you coming...here is the deal I am new at this job took 1.5 months already...and my last trip to india was almost 7 years ago...so twice in a year is well odd.
I do want to go...the pampering, the attention, the no-work-no-cooking-cleaning-commuting is tempting but what is difficult is coming back..it took me 2 months to recover from the leaving behind my loved onces....still thinking...but I know I will go...weird...whats happenin to me?
I do want to go...the pampering, the attention, the no-work-no-cooking-cleaning-commuting is tempting but what is difficult is coming back..it took me 2 months to recover from the leaving behind my loved onces....still thinking...but I know I will go...weird...whats happenin to me?
Sunday, April 08, 2007
In retrospect
Its almost 2 months since I came back from India...and I got plenty of time to think and count my blessings.
I live here, I love it here...but it does get a bit lonely, had it not been for the two wonderful people I live with, it would be so difficult.
When I went to India my parents always had someone or the other over. When I gave my consent for the wedding, within 10 days people gathered from around the world (ok just north america and europa) and some from other states in India to be with me! Everyone pitched in to have everything ready within 10 days....I didn't lift a finger and everything got done...I realised that I am not alone in the world...a feeling that I often felt here...
I am not saying, I regret being here...far from it...but I do realise that I am missing out on a few things by being here...but then again Kisi ko mukumal jahan nahi milta kisi ko zameen kisi ko aasma nahi milta
I live here, I love it here...but it does get a bit lonely, had it not been for the two wonderful people I live with, it would be so difficult.
When I went to India my parents always had someone or the other over. When I gave my consent for the wedding, within 10 days people gathered from around the world (ok just north america and europa) and some from other states in India to be with me! Everyone pitched in to have everything ready within 10 days....I didn't lift a finger and everything got done...I realised that I am not alone in the world...a feeling that I often felt here...
I am not saying, I regret being here...far from it...but I do realise that I am missing out on a few things by being here...but then again Kisi ko mukumal jahan nahi milta kisi ko zameen kisi ko aasma nahi milta
Friday, March 30, 2007
The concept of "Jhootha"
Growing up, we were never encouraged to eat anything that was "Jhootha" and that still remains somewhere in my head. I can't eat stuff that someone else has eaten. But over here people don't get "it". So when someone lovingly offers a sip of the drink they've been drinking or offers something to eat...its really difficult to say no...(not to the food but to the person). Funny, after our wedding, D and I was just given one plate of food (My sis' idea!) I was like can I get my own plate :)) (I don't mind eating with him anymore) but others I still can't bring myself to!
Even if it means awkward moments like the other day at work, xyz offered a fruit salad.
xyz: "Its so good, try this"
me: "I've just had a big meal, thanks though"
xyz: shrugs
This is the nth time this has happened with different people.
Even if it means awkward moments like the other day at work, xyz offered a fruit salad.
xyz: "Its so good, try this"
me: "I've just had a big meal, thanks though"
xyz: shrugs
This is the nth time this has happened with different people.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Weekends
Its almost been a month into my new job and my coming home from India. Out of nowhere (ok...let me honest here from xyz) came this fab new job offer and circumstances just made me take it (yes, money). Going in I knew it was going to be a challenge, because it requires a different kind of personality...an outgoing kind...so I have to go out to meet clients and get them to "buy in" to what we offer. If they do, I train them on it. So a few days ago I was out of station staying in a hotel and having the company pay the expenses (first time that has happened). This week again I have to go train people but this time I am on my own. So the weekend was to be spent in front of the mirror as I practice material delivery...I was suppose to do that today but D was online whole day watching the match and I got the commentary from him and my plans went for a toss...wouldn't have wanted it any other way!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Gauri Pooja with a difference!
In some parts of India there is a wedding ritual in which the bride brings the groom to her family shrine and shows gauri the groom she is responsible for bringing in the brides life...we don't have that ritual in my family but when I had read it long time ago (Anthropology course!) I found it very fasinating...so when I got married I wanted to show my husband to durga ma...the one to whom I always pray...so we went to Vaishnu Devi...
I couldn't have walked 14 KM, that too steep at most places...without D. Perhaps mata rani knew that I couldn't have climbed on my own (what with age (ok and weight!) catching up! )...that she sent D to help me! But I did go there on foot...with his help of course...
When we talked for the first time, I had asked him if he was religious and he said an honest "No" but for our honeymoon he took me to Vaishnu Devi because he knew it would mean soooo much to me...He mentioned that the most radiant he has ever seen me was in the bhavan after more then 8 hours of walking....
I couldn't have walked 14 KM, that too steep at most places...without D. Perhaps mata rani knew that I couldn't have climbed on my own (what with age (ok and weight!) catching up! )...that she sent D to help me! But I did go there on foot...with his help of course...
When we talked for the first time, I had asked him if he was religious and he said an honest "No" but for our honeymoon he took me to Vaishnu Devi because he knew it would mean soooo much to me...He mentioned that the most radiant he has ever seen me was in the bhavan after more then 8 hours of walking....
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Day 1
My didi, jiju and dad had come to recieve me at the airport. I was meeting my sister after 7 years!!! She came running to me and hugged me. Jiju waved, I said namaste to him and hugged dad.
Reached home around 12.30 AM. Mom and nephews were up waiting. Nephews were bit shy in the begining but we got friendly soon enough!!! Mom was happy that I was finally where she wanted me!
Didi and family left for their place. It was just dad, mom and me. It was over 2 years since we were together. And over 7 years since I was under my fathers roof...the sense of comfort and security cant be put in words. I slept at around 3.30 got up at 6.30 to the sound of India :)
Got a call from my sister that D. had called her and wanted to know if we should meet today or tomarrow. I called him and said today is good. I wanted it to get over asap. I had talked to him for over 9 months and it was about time that we met in person. We had seen each other in pics, in video clippings but its different in person.
My mom and dad had a talk with me in which they told me that they really like him a lot. And that they would be happy if we liked each other.
I went back to sleep. He was to come in the evening. My mom woke me up an hour before he was to come and asked me to get dressed. I had a bath, shapooed/conditioned my hair, wore indian cloths, wore some face powder and lipstick and contact lens. My sister called urging me to look good, my mom insisted that i should look presentable but I stood my ground. This is how I usually am so this is how he should see me.
He came around 15 minutes late. My mom opened the door. I could over hear them my mom offered him water. And called out to me. I said a quick prayer to Durga ma and went to the living room. I said hi, he said hi vi (my nick name). I don't know if he even looked at me he immediatly took out flowers (red roses...I always wanted those) and sweets. He didn't seem to look at me may be because my scorpio gaze was too much for him. I stared at him trying to see what he actually thought of me. My mom was in the kitchen...we were alone in the living room. "So, what do you think?" I startled him ;) He said, "You look much more beautiful in person then in pictures and video clippings." He paused and then asked what about you? (Meaning do you like me?) I said yes. (He looked much better in person then in pictures too-- advise to the rest of you never judge a person by photo alone) As if on cue my mom brought refreshments (I have a feeling she was tuned in). I finished my drink and went in my mom asked him, and he said its yes from her too!
He called out for me and I joined them in the living room again. This time I had a cardigan and shawl wrapped around me (Delhi is cold!!! teeth chattering cold!)
His mom called on his cell phone, he talked to her in a language I don't understand but I could see that he was happy. His mom talked to me. She asked if I liked her son...(how could I not he is TDH personified). I saw affection in his eyes, they twinkled brighter then the polar star!
That night I couldn't sleep until 4 am. I knew I had just met my husband. The man that I would spend the rest of my life with....
***After the wedding he told me that he missed his metro stop because he was mesmerized with me that I was so much more prettier in person ---- I like to believe he was being honest and not just being nice ;)***
Reached home around 12.30 AM. Mom and nephews were up waiting. Nephews were bit shy in the begining but we got friendly soon enough!!! Mom was happy that I was finally where she wanted me!
Didi and family left for their place. It was just dad, mom and me. It was over 2 years since we were together. And over 7 years since I was under my fathers roof...the sense of comfort and security cant be put in words. I slept at around 3.30 got up at 6.30 to the sound of India :)
Got a call from my sister that D. had called her and wanted to know if we should meet today or tomarrow. I called him and said today is good. I wanted it to get over asap. I had talked to him for over 9 months and it was about time that we met in person. We had seen each other in pics, in video clippings but its different in person.
My mom and dad had a talk with me in which they told me that they really like him a lot. And that they would be happy if we liked each other.
I went back to sleep. He was to come in the evening. My mom woke me up an hour before he was to come and asked me to get dressed. I had a bath, shapooed/conditioned my hair, wore indian cloths, wore some face powder and lipstick and contact lens. My sister called urging me to look good, my mom insisted that i should look presentable but I stood my ground. This is how I usually am so this is how he should see me.
He came around 15 minutes late. My mom opened the door. I could over hear them my mom offered him water. And called out to me. I said a quick prayer to Durga ma and went to the living room. I said hi, he said hi vi (my nick name). I don't know if he even looked at me he immediatly took out flowers (red roses...I always wanted those) and sweets. He didn't seem to look at me may be because my scorpio gaze was too much for him. I stared at him trying to see what he actually thought of me. My mom was in the kitchen...we were alone in the living room. "So, what do you think?" I startled him ;) He said, "You look much more beautiful in person then in pictures and video clippings." He paused and then asked what about you? (Meaning do you like me?) I said yes. (He looked much better in person then in pictures too-- advise to the rest of you never judge a person by photo alone) As if on cue my mom brought refreshments (I have a feeling she was tuned in). I finished my drink and went in my mom asked him, and he said its yes from her too!
He called out for me and I joined them in the living room again. This time I had a cardigan and shawl wrapped around me (Delhi is cold!!! teeth chattering cold!)
His mom called on his cell phone, he talked to her in a language I don't understand but I could see that he was happy. His mom talked to me. She asked if I liked her son...(how could I not he is TDH personified). I saw affection in his eyes, they twinkled brighter then the polar star!
That night I couldn't sleep until 4 am. I knew I had just met my husband. The man that I would spend the rest of my life with....
***After the wedding he told me that he missed his metro stop because he was mesmerized with me that I was so much more prettier in person ---- I like to believe he was being honest and not just being nice ;)***
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Of Vice and Virtues
Wrath is considered one of the grave sins and when wrath is teamed with pride...thats a deadly combination.
And it can have consequences...like having to wake up an hour and a half earlier every day....meaning I friggin quit my job in a moment of intense anger and pride.
When I cooled down I realised what I had done. But too late. I couldn't believe what I did. I came out of that meeting seething with anger but composed from the outside. I came to my desk called xyz and said "Is that job that you offered to me two months ago still available" He said "Yes"
A week later I had another meeting with xyz, my boss sensed that I am about to take off, so I was given a "achievement award" what am I a kid, that here is a candy and be happy?
I convienetly forgot the certificate in the meeting room. Which my collegue bought to my desk.
We did the formalities for the other job --- interview, reference, and the stuff. I sent in my acceptance letter.
And on the 2nd gave my boss my resignation with 2 weeks notice 4 days this week and rest from my pending vacation from last year.
He was shocked and said, is there anything we can do to make you change your mind? More vacations, increase in salary?
I said no.
He asked what happened.
"A better opportunity presented itself"
"Vi think about it...if there is anything I can do to change your mind let me know."
Pride and integrity (I can't ditch xyz now!!!) made me say. "No, but I appreciate your words"
I had read something like this about scorpios (and thought what bull but no its true!)
Their sensitivity, together with a propensity for extreme likes and dislikes make them easily hurt, quick to detect insult or injury to themselves (often when none is intended) and easily aroused to ferocious anger. This may express itself in such destructive speech or action that they make lifelong enemies by their outspokenness, for they find it difficult not to be overly critical of anything or anyone to whom they take a dislike.
I don't want to be a scorpio anymore!
And it can have consequences...like having to wake up an hour and a half earlier every day....meaning I friggin quit my job in a moment of intense anger and pride.
When I cooled down I realised what I had done. But too late. I couldn't believe what I did. I came out of that meeting seething with anger but composed from the outside. I came to my desk called xyz and said "Is that job that you offered to me two months ago still available" He said "Yes"
A week later I had another meeting with xyz, my boss sensed that I am about to take off, so I was given a "achievement award" what am I a kid, that here is a candy and be happy?
I convienetly forgot the certificate in the meeting room. Which my collegue bought to my desk.
We did the formalities for the other job --- interview, reference, and the stuff. I sent in my acceptance letter.
And on the 2nd gave my boss my resignation with 2 weeks notice 4 days this week and rest from my pending vacation from last year.
He was shocked and said, is there anything we can do to make you change your mind? More vacations, increase in salary?
I said no.
He asked what happened.
"A better opportunity presented itself"
"Vi think about it...if there is anything I can do to change your mind let me know."
Pride and integrity (I can't ditch xyz now!!!) made me say. "No, but I appreciate your words"
I had read something like this about scorpios (and thought what bull but no its true!)
Their sensitivity, together with a propensity for extreme likes and dislikes make them easily hurt, quick to detect insult or injury to themselves (often when none is intended) and easily aroused to ferocious anger. This may express itself in such destructive speech or action that they make lifelong enemies by their outspokenness, for they find it difficult not to be overly critical of anything or anyone to whom they take a dislike.
I don't want to be a scorpio anymore!
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy new year!
Happy new year folks....2007 is here!!!
2006 Hits and Misses
Canada is home permanantely!
(Jan-April)Job A then Job B(April-) back to Job A (decided, not joined)
As always my faith came to my rescue
People notice "vi" even though I am as quite as ever
Take baby steps towards...next phase in life...I get anti wrinkle eye cream!!!
I realise my scorpio traits are deeper then I thought....I never forget and never forgive hahahaha...
2006 Hits and Misses
Canada is home permanantely!
(Jan-April)Job A then Job B(April-) back to Job A (decided, not joined)
As always my faith came to my rescue
People notice "vi" even though I am as quite as ever
Take baby steps towards...next phase in life...I get anti wrinkle eye cream!!!
I realise my scorpio traits are deeper then I thought....I never forget and never forgive hahahaha...
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Yo Yo Day
Highs Lows Highs Lows...thats what my life is. But so many highs and so many lows just since this moring (its not even 1 yet!) so last night nephew said "Mashi come earlier" so I said what the heck money comes and goes I am going home this saturday...looked up flight rates around 2K in additition to what I have already shelled out on the tickets (they are not refundable). So this morning I give him (travel agent) a call...Mez all exicted even told xyz when he called that I am going home this weekend....even called T (she is already in India!) that I am coming! Travel agent calls says no seats available and there is one for 1 jan thats like 3 K I am like can't afford it. exictment out the window! Now I have to tell T not coming :(
Had met xyz earlier this week. And he was hopeful about something. He called and said he might have good news...mez all exicted again and then an hour later he calls and the news is not that good...mez feeling really not so good. All this rollercoaster made me want to talk to someone so I dailed abc's number and darn he has his switched off...ok this day better end on a high because I am in no freakin mood to be low!
Song fit for the occasion? Zindagi kaisi hai peheli hai...kabhi ye haansey kabhi ye rulaey...
Had met xyz earlier this week. And he was hopeful about something. He called and said he might have good news...mez all exicted again and then an hour later he calls and the news is not that good...mez feeling really not so good. All this rollercoaster made me want to talk to someone so I dailed abc's number and darn he has his switched off...ok this day better end on a high because I am in no freakin mood to be low!
Song fit for the occasion? Zindagi kaisi hai peheli hai...kabhi ye haansey kabhi ye rulaey...
Monday, December 11, 2006
Count down!
Less then a month left for me to fly home!
My suitcase is packed and ready to go (already) I must say I am very excited. I have gone shopping every single day for the last month. Got my newphews a PSP and video games, books, toys, cloths (I have yet to get them chocolates!) Since one of them has never met me and the other was a baby they don't remember me so I have to make a good impression ;)
But I think I have bought the most amount of things for myself! not-my-type sleepwear (whats wrong with me?) and other fancy shmancy stuff (really what is wrong with me?) and Tons of cosmetics. There is more then necessary red in my wordrobe...
And I have such huge plans to see the Taj mahal, go to Vaishnu Devi, explore Delhi, eat yummy food. I can't wait! I am surprised at my own enthu :) so little time so much to do!
My suitcase is packed and ready to go (already) I must say I am very excited. I have gone shopping every single day for the last month. Got my newphews a PSP and video games, books, toys, cloths (I have yet to get them chocolates!) Since one of them has never met me and the other was a baby they don't remember me so I have to make a good impression ;)
But I think I have bought the most amount of things for myself! not-my-type sleepwear (whats wrong with me?) and other fancy shmancy stuff (really what is wrong with me?) and Tons of cosmetics. There is more then necessary red in my wordrobe...
And I have such huge plans to see the Taj mahal, go to Vaishnu Devi, explore Delhi, eat yummy food. I can't wait! I am surprised at my own enthu :) so little time so much to do!
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Blogger Friends - How we met!
When I started blogging about 1.5 years ago, I didn't know I would still be doing this after 1.5 years! (Wow, what wisdom! LOL) But looking back its been a fun ride...thanks to my "regulars" and this blog is dedicated to them :)
Alphabetically
Aria...was flower-fist-bestial-wail at Sulekha. Her blogs were very entertaining, and people's reaction to her blogs was almost equally entertaining;) Her writing is no ordinary writing and I always enjoyed her blogs...She kind of reminded me of Delhi because Delhi was mentioned off and on in her blogs. From what I know about her through her blogs she is really cool! She moved to blogspot and since we have kept in touch on blogs and once in a blue moon chats/emails
Ginko was Gi at Sulekha and he wrote these blogs about traveling in public transport in US, I could so identify with his blogs. Needless to say he is a major flirt...and always managed to tease me...but that has changed since he found the love of his life Aish...and now he is married :) I wish him and Aish a very happy married life! We keep in touch through im...And he never did send me the invite (you don't need the address for that GI, a virtual one would have been enough!)
Nandu...was gopeenandu at Sulekha. He had posted some light hearted comments on my blog over at sulekha and he was always very charming and the fact he had a snake as pet kind of made him stand out. Once he sent me an invite to the "group" @ Sulekha, since the email had his full name, curiosity got the better of me and I ended up googling him. Little did I know what a sneaky fellow (Joking Hon) he is -he found out that someone in Toronto visited his website and asked me if it was me...I said yes... Nandu is the first one among bloggers to see my pic abiet an old one ;) I just love Nandu's sense of humor. He evokes an image of being a chubby cheeked kid with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.....and yes, he calls me "Didi".
Punds
I was familiar with punds from Suleka. But we didn't interact much there. I think it was beginning of this year that we began visiting each others blog regularly. What I particularly like about Punds is his sensitivity and the heart of gold. And also his short stories. And I must admit, his love for "her" is something I can relate to...
And of course there are the occasional visitors like Jeenu, Rays of Sun, Cheti, Parikarma, Priyamvada, Priya Sivan, Dev Kumar, Sumeet, Oz and most recently Tushar...
All of the bloggers are such interesting people...and its because of that that 1.5 years is going to continue to ...hmm don't know how many years!
Alphabetically
Aria...was flower-fist-bestial-wail at Sulekha. Her blogs were very entertaining, and people's reaction to her blogs was almost equally entertaining;) Her writing is no ordinary writing and I always enjoyed her blogs...She kind of reminded me of Delhi because Delhi was mentioned off and on in her blogs. From what I know about her through her blogs she is really cool! She moved to blogspot and since we have kept in touch on blogs and once in a blue moon chats/emails
Ginko was Gi at Sulekha and he wrote these blogs about traveling in public transport in US, I could so identify with his blogs. Needless to say he is a major flirt...and always managed to tease me...but that has changed since he found the love of his life Aish...and now he is married :) I wish him and Aish a very happy married life! We keep in touch through im...And he never did send me the invite (you don't need the address for that GI, a virtual one would have been enough!)
Nandu...was gopeenandu at Sulekha. He had posted some light hearted comments on my blog over at sulekha and he was always very charming and the fact he had a snake as pet kind of made him stand out. Once he sent me an invite to the "group" @ Sulekha, since the email had his full name, curiosity got the better of me and I ended up googling him. Little did I know what a sneaky fellow (Joking Hon) he is -he found out that someone in Toronto visited his website and asked me if it was me...I said yes... Nandu is the first one among bloggers to see my pic abiet an old one ;) I just love Nandu's sense of humor. He evokes an image of being a chubby cheeked kid with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.....and yes, he calls me "Didi".
Punds
I was familiar with punds from Suleka. But we didn't interact much there. I think it was beginning of this year that we began visiting each others blog regularly. What I particularly like about Punds is his sensitivity and the heart of gold. And also his short stories. And I must admit, his love for "her" is something I can relate to...
And of course there are the occasional visitors like Jeenu, Rays of Sun, Cheti, Parikarma, Priyamvada, Priya Sivan, Dev Kumar, Sumeet, Oz and most recently Tushar...
All of the bloggers are such interesting people...and its because of that that 1.5 years is going to continue to ...hmm don't know how many years!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
I am still here!
Its been a while since I posted a blog! Wanted to post something on online blog pals, but punds had written a much better one on his blog so do go visit!so I will just write mundane stuff. Had my bd a few days ago (Thanks for all your emails/cards/comments and nandu's very sweet blog!) usually a time for thinking/introspection. Although I am not the best person, I think I am a pretty decent one. I tried to measure my "goodness" and "badness" and here are the results!
The good
Can't remember the last time I lied (Yeppy!)
Can't remember the last time I wished anyone bad (Yeppy!)
Can't remember intentionally hurting anyone
(And just so you know, I have a very sharp memory!)
The Bad
Haven't made any sort of donations this year!
Haven't gone to the temple as many times I would like to
Started drinking this year...Had 6 beers so far! LOL!
Bought some cloths that I had to hide the minute I got them ;)
Haven't called home as often as I should
Haven't done much for myself - in terms of exercise/yoga
The Ugly
Have seem my temper fly a couple of times this year!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Economy class...darn!
So I booked my flight to go to India. For about two weeks. (Did I mention I am stingy in spending my vacation time!). In those weeks there is so much I want to do - go to Vaisho Devi, see Taj mahal, explore Delhi, See other popular places in India, eat yummy food and spend time with my family, and the list is endless but overall have a great time...
The best part is the shopping. Half is already done...and still some left. Got a PSP for my nephews but now I think they are too young for it...but then Jiju can play :)
Now for the bad part 18 hours of flight - no refund, no change of dates! And a stop over in a country I have never been to.
I am excited. (I think :)
The best part is the shopping. Half is already done...and still some left. Got a PSP for my nephews but now I think they are too young for it...but then Jiju can play :)
Now for the bad part 18 hours of flight - no refund, no change of dates! And a stop over in a country I have never been to.
I am excited. (I think :)
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Khali dimak shaitan ka ghar!
Thinking about life in general. I must admit I have lived a very sheltered protected life. No ordinary life, thanks to my parents, I have always had all that I wanted except 1 thing. And it’s as if that one thing lacking sometimes stops me from appreciating all that I did get. And today, (kaam dhaam nahi hai…khali dimak shaitan ka ghar!) I doing what I usually do at the end of the year, that is, reflect on the year that has gone by. It’s a ritual, every 30 or 31 of dec I take out my journal and list all the things that I had thought of accomplishing in the beginning of the year and see if anything got accomplished. Its not even accomplishments but sometimes its just things I hope would happen.
So I remember last year I wanted some stability (financial/immigration/emotional). I wanted to be a stronger person. And the year began on a very promising note. Things were moving towards that direction. In the first week I got my permanent rez status. It was one huge sigh of relief. Then in end I got a full time permanent job.
Now the only thing left was someone to share it with. That was a bit un-usual. I in Feb or March, that happened, I found something else to depress myself about! That lasted for about 3 months. And after that I felt this empowering experience. After hitting rock bottom, I picked up the pieces, and acknowledged that certain things are not in my hands. And that was so liberating.
Things have only grown better since. Overall, this year has been the good. Now if I could only win the lotto! I mean, there is always scope for improvement right?
So I remember last year I wanted some stability (financial/immigration/emotional). I wanted to be a stronger person. And the year began on a very promising note. Things were moving towards that direction. In the first week I got my permanent rez status. It was one huge sigh of relief. Then in end I got a full time permanent job.
Now the only thing left was someone to share it with. That was a bit un-usual. I in Feb or March, that happened, I found something else to depress myself about! That lasted for about 3 months. And after that I felt this empowering experience. After hitting rock bottom, I picked up the pieces, and acknowledged that certain things are not in my hands. And that was so liberating.
Things have only grown better since. Overall, this year has been the good. Now if I could only win the lotto! I mean, there is always scope for improvement right?
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
All in a day
#1 Majorly pissed!
So I had taken a half day off today...had an appointment with my doc. Since it was at mid morning, I took my own sweet time getting dressed and all. Red top and jewellery (Yeah to work, what was I thinking!)
I am on the escalator, when this guy steps up beside me and says "Hi" me being a friendly person smiled. "Are you Sri lankan" This was the millionth time I have been asked if I am "India/Srilankan/Bangladeshi/Pakistani/Guyanes/Trinadadian/Afgani and even Persian". I don't answer that question anymore!
The guy is a pervert...and I knew it. He boarded the same friggin bus that I had to go on. And take the seat right opposite me. All the team he kept asking the time, the next bus stop etc. I took out my ipod and closed my eyes. And imagined if I could give him one tight slap across the face! (Just so that you know, I have never as much as raised my hand on anyone!)
By now he had found another girl to bug...and and from the looks of it she was about to slap him.
#2 Whaaat!!!
I am in the waiting room of my doc (He is the awesomest guy in Toronto, No seriously he is a great guy, more like family friend (Dad's friend). So I am waiting and thinking, did I really need to see the doc, it was just a minor ulcer in my throat which had by now disappeared. He comes in shakes my hand, asks about Dad and then what bring me there. I tell him the issue. He looks and there is no trace of the said problem. "You've lost some weight beta" I smile. "I am trying doc"
I kind of feel silly now. During the examination, I mention that doc, things are finally falling into place and I don't want to take any chances.
He smiles.
Doc: "Can I ask you a personal question"
I am thinking, this guy knows every detail of my personal life what question can he ask.
Doc: "Have you kissed anyone in the last two weeks"
My brown face is now deep red.
Doc: "I asked because what you have is a related to that!"
He didn't wait for an answer. And told me there is nothing to worry about. Its not Cancer.
(Sigh of relief!)
We wish each other happy diwali and I contemplate taking a sick day...but there is so much work that the guilt got the better of me and I head to work.
#3 No not again!
Can you believe my luck that the pervert that I mentioned earlier is waiting on the bus stop for the same bus that I need to take!
"Hi" darn he even remembers me!
I hail a cab...to the nearest subway.
# 4 Seriously?
I get to work and my boss has a pile of work for me. "Can you get this done vi?"
Boss: "You had a docs appointment...everything ok?"
"Yup everything is fine"
A few (ok 2) collegues mention that I look nice today...(Thank you lancome!)
I am thinking, do I really look so bad the rest of the days. Come to think of it, it was the first time that I wore makeup (foundation/powder) to this workplace.
My collegues take a gibe, "oh come on you...you went to the doc? or somewhere else"
Had to put in an extra hour and a half to catch up on the work. Long day!
So I had taken a half day off today...had an appointment with my doc. Since it was at mid morning, I took my own sweet time getting dressed and all. Red top and jewellery (Yeah to work, what was I thinking!)
I am on the escalator, when this guy steps up beside me and says "Hi" me being a friendly person smiled. "Are you Sri lankan" This was the millionth time I have been asked if I am "India/Srilankan/Bangladeshi/Pakistani/Guyanes/Trinadadian/Afgani and even Persian". I don't answer that question anymore!
The guy is a pervert...and I knew it. He boarded the same friggin bus that I had to go on. And take the seat right opposite me. All the team he kept asking the time, the next bus stop etc. I took out my ipod and closed my eyes. And imagined if I could give him one tight slap across the face! (Just so that you know, I have never as much as raised my hand on anyone!)
By now he had found another girl to bug...and and from the looks of it she was about to slap him.
#2 Whaaat!!!
I am in the waiting room of my doc (He is the awesomest guy in Toronto, No seriously he is a great guy, more like family friend (Dad's friend). So I am waiting and thinking, did I really need to see the doc, it was just a minor ulcer in my throat which had by now disappeared. He comes in shakes my hand, asks about Dad and then what bring me there. I tell him the issue. He looks and there is no trace of the said problem. "You've lost some weight beta" I smile. "I am trying doc"
I kind of feel silly now. During the examination, I mention that doc, things are finally falling into place and I don't want to take any chances.
He smiles.
Doc: "Can I ask you a personal question"
I am thinking, this guy knows every detail of my personal life what question can he ask.
Doc: "Have you kissed anyone in the last two weeks"
My brown face is now deep red.
Doc: "I asked because what you have is a related to that!"
He didn't wait for an answer. And told me there is nothing to worry about. Its not Cancer.
(Sigh of relief!)
We wish each other happy diwali and I contemplate taking a sick day...but there is so much work that the guilt got the better of me and I head to work.
#3 No not again!
Can you believe my luck that the pervert that I mentioned earlier is waiting on the bus stop for the same bus that I need to take!
"Hi" darn he even remembers me!
I hail a cab...to the nearest subway.
# 4 Seriously?
I get to work and my boss has a pile of work for me. "Can you get this done vi?"
Boss: "You had a docs appointment...everything ok?"
"Yup everything is fine"
A few (ok 2) collegues mention that I look nice today...(Thank you lancome!)
I am thinking, do I really look so bad the rest of the days. Come to think of it, it was the first time that I wore makeup (foundation/powder) to this workplace.
My collegues take a gibe, "oh come on you...you went to the doc? or somewhere else"
Had to put in an extra hour and a half to catch up on the work. Long day!
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Ghar
My boss was going around and asking people when they plan to take their vacations. Its Oct and FI (Financial Institutions...ok banks!) are particular about taking vacation days off and stuff.
"I am not sure yet...most probably Jan"
"Ok can you tell me soon though..."
That kind of pushes me to book my flight to India. But whenever I think about actually going to India...I have strange feeling in my stomach...Its been ages 6 years since I went to India. And I am not sure if I want to go. Although I have promised people that I will come this year...but somehow I can't seem to convince myself to go...till a few years ago my excuse use to be...I am on student permit (no money!), then work permit (no time), then contract jobs (no vacation time)...now there is no issue...full time job, enough savings, 15 days vacation plus time in liu...but...still...I am scared of going to India...there is this unknown fear...I wonder what it stems from :-?
I guess there is nothing better then your own home....my home is here...in Toronto.
"I am not sure yet...most probably Jan"
"Ok can you tell me soon though..."
That kind of pushes me to book my flight to India. But whenever I think about actually going to India...I have strange feeling in my stomach...Its been ages 6 years since I went to India. And I am not sure if I want to go. Although I have promised people that I will come this year...but somehow I can't seem to convince myself to go...till a few years ago my excuse use to be...I am on student permit (no money!), then work permit (no time), then contract jobs (no vacation time)...now there is no issue...full time job, enough savings, 15 days vacation plus time in liu...but...still...I am scared of going to India...there is this unknown fear...I wonder what it stems from :-?
I guess there is nothing better then your own home....my home is here...in Toronto.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Another day
So this morning, was kind of feeling low (even though its a friday)...checked my mail...koi rutha hua hai hamse. But nothing.
At work its crazy busy, so we were pounding away. Then I just picked up the phone and dialed xyz's number...somehow T was not my first choice today.
xyz: "Yoo"
"Hi xyz, its vi" (*real name)
"Hi love...how are you, how have you been...missed ya"
vi: "Where are you?"
xyz: "Driving to work"
vi: "I will call you later then"
xyz: "No talk to me now...I want to hear how things are going with you"
vi: "Things are ok...just called to wish you happy thanksgiving...I miss you guys!"
xyz: "You want to come back to me?"
vi: "No, thats not why I called you"
xyz: "But would you come back to me, If I asked you too?"
vi: "You know, for you I would do anything"
xyz: "Even m--------" (the far of place that he works!)
vi: "just not m------"
xyz: "Are you happy?"
vi: "I am ok"
xyz: "Talk to me"
Its an open concept place so I can't really talk to him.
vi: "No, xyz I am happy..."
xyz: "Sure?"
vi: "Yes"
vi: "I just called to say hi to you"
At work its crazy busy, so we were pounding away. Then I just picked up the phone and dialed xyz's number...somehow T was not my first choice today.
xyz: "Yoo"
"Hi xyz, its vi" (*real name)
"Hi love...how are you, how have you been...missed ya"
vi: "Where are you?"
xyz: "Driving to work"
vi: "I will call you later then"
xyz: "No talk to me now...I want to hear how things are going with you"
vi: "Things are ok...just called to wish you happy thanksgiving...I miss you guys!"
xyz: "You want to come back to me?"
vi: "No, thats not why I called you"
xyz: "But would you come back to me, If I asked you too?"
vi: "You know, for you I would do anything"
xyz: "Even m--------" (the far of place that he works!)
vi: "just not m------"
xyz: "Are you happy?"
vi: "I am ok"
xyz: "Talk to me"
Its an open concept place so I can't really talk to him.
vi: "No, xyz I am happy..."
xyz: "Sure?"
vi: "Yes"
vi: "I just called to say hi to you"
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Happy Durga Pooja!
So its that time of the year again, where I surprise myself yet again! Day 6 of fasting, and not only am I in a very cheerful mood but I am energetic! On a regular day if I happen to miss breakfast and lunch you can be pretty sure I am not the person you want to hang out with (I get cranky! I mean really!) but now its day 6 and nothing!!! (That banana seems to be working like spinach for popey!)
Saturday is durga astami...time to go to the temple and give gifts to girls. This is my favourite part of navraatri. I just love it when their eyes light up on seeing ziploc bags full of goodies - (lipgloss, candy, hairbands/ribbons, money and prashad-halva-kheer-puri-channa).
Last time I learned a valuable lesson. Girls sometimes have brothers, and when you see them look at you accusingly (no ziploc bags for them!) you feel bad. So this time, I decided to get a bag of chocolates and give it to them.
Jai mata di...you guys and gals have a rocking navraatri/durga pooja and dashara.
Saturday is durga astami...time to go to the temple and give gifts to girls. This is my favourite part of navraatri. I just love it when their eyes light up on seeing ziploc bags full of goodies - (lipgloss, candy, hairbands/ribbons, money and prashad-halva-kheer-puri-channa).
Last time I learned a valuable lesson. Girls sometimes have brothers, and when you see them look at you accusingly (no ziploc bags for them!) you feel bad. So this time, I decided to get a bag of chocolates and give it to them.
Jai mata di...you guys and gals have a rocking navraatri/durga pooja and dashara.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
bright smile
One thing I absolutely hate is go to the dentist! But you can't avoid them too long can you? It was 9 months since my last visit so this was over due by 3 months...so last week I booked an appointment.
Every 6 months (give or take) its a ritual...I make an appointment to be tortured...The appointments are usually two weeks in advance. In those two weeks I brush extra vigorously, floss twice a day...
But thats not the only thing I hate about going to the dentist there are plenty
They are a rip off
They stuff things in your mouth that you almost throw up
You develop a headache for the next few days
You become sensitive to hot, cold, sweet, sour...you name it!
They want you to get a million things done
This time she asked me if I want a thorough examination
Me: "No just the cleaning please"
Her: "Its almost two year since your thorough exam"
Me: "Its ok"
Her: "We have this offer...if you go for the full exam you can get your teeth whitened for $99...otherwise it costs $499"
Me: "I thought my teeth are pretty white", I try to be funny!
Her: "We can all use a little brighter smile"
I gave it a thought...whiter teeth like tubelights hmm not bad...
She is a mind reader that one. "May be you would like to think about it"
I nod my head in agreement.
She smiles she has made the kill.
"Open your mouth..." There we go an hours torcher no less!
My gradma had perfect teeth till she died at the ripe old age of 75. She never went to the dentist not once!
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