Deeeee

I had my share of crushes, heartaches, heart breaks and occasional happy moments. Looking back I always thought of my prince charming to be this hunk tall dark and handsome, highly successful, intelligent, popular at the same time religious (hehehe) (the list is long). Someone on the lines of Mr Darcy (Imagine Colin Firth here not some Henderson dude thank you!)...a brown version of...You get the picture! I mean it was always unrealistic it was fantasy and even in reality I choose the most unattainable guy to fall in love with (if you are a regular you know who!)

But being married to D is so refreshing....so real...so natural. He is human, he is down to earth, he is simple with no airs, he isn't romantic in the sweep-you-off-your-feet-kind of way but he tries (like going for walks in the evening and buying me flowers :) (oh oh did I tell you he took me to see the Taj Mahal) . It got me thinking at the end of the day, what I think I wanted and what I really wanted are two different things...if you ask me now...I would take integrity and a warm heart over anything any day.

BTW, Happy Dashera folks, hope you had a nice navratri!

Trip 2 Day 1 first half

There were more butterflies in my stomach this time then last. My flight landed in the wee hours of the morning, it was late by 3 or so hours.
As I came out I saw D, calm and quite in the first row. "P...." he called me by my nickname (dak nam in bengali :))
I didn't see dad or mom with him. He took the trolley from me, no hug no kiss, just a smile.
"How are you handsome?" I enquired.
He mumbled something, and added Dad is here, I took a step back, Dad was there so I went and hugged him.
D and I were sitting in the back. He had discretely enclosed my hand in his. And a certain look with it conveyed that he had missed me as much as I had missed him. We talked about trivial things like the weather.

Got home mom was waiting...with breakfast prep in full swing. My mom's way of expressing her love. My sister called and said she had to restrain herself for not coming because she wanted to give D and me some alone time! But she came within 2 hours, just as I had finished bathing and eating.

D didn't get an opportunity to talk(?) to me in private...after some effort on his part (mom, sister and nephew in other room) he held me close and told me how much he missed me and how his attempts to receive me at the airport all by himself had failed :)). He just managed a quick peck when my 5 year old could be heard headding to our room...

I had the time of my life...and coming back was as difficult if not more then last time.

In retrospect

Its almost 2 months since I came back from India...and I got plenty of time to think and count my blessings.

I live here, I love it here...but it does get a bit lonely, had it not been for the two wonderful people I live with, it would be so difficult.

When I went to India my parents always had someone or the other over. When I gave my consent for the wedding, within 10 days people gathered from around the world (ok just north america and europa) and some from other states in India to be with me! Everyone pitched in to have everything ready within 10 days....I didn't lift a finger and everything got done...I realised that I am not alone in the world...a feeling that I often felt here...

I am not saying, I regret being here...far from it...but I do realise that I am missing out on a few things by being here...but then again Kisi ko mukumal jahan nahi milta kisi ko zameen kisi ko aasma nahi milta

Day 1

My didi, jiju and dad had come to recieve me at the airport. I was meeting my sister after 7 years!!! She came running to me and hugged me. Jiju waved, I said namaste to him and hugged dad.
Reached home around 12.30 AM. Mom and nephews were up waiting. Nephews were bit shy in the begining but we got friendly soon enough!!! Mom was happy that I was finally where she wanted me!
Didi and family left for their place. It was just dad, mom and me. It was over 2 years since we were together. And over 7 years since I was under my fathers roof...the sense of comfort and security cant be put in words. I slept at around 3.30 got up at 6.30 to the sound of India :)
Got a call from my sister that D. had called her and wanted to know if we should meet today or tomarrow. I called him and said today is good. I wanted it to get over asap. I had talked to him for over 9 months and it was about time that we met in person. We had seen each other in pics, in video clippings but its different in person.
My mom and dad had a talk with me in which they told me that they really like him a lot. And that they would be happy if we liked each other.
I went back to sleep. He was to come in the evening. My mom woke me up an hour before he was to come and asked me to get dressed. I had a bath, shapooed/conditioned my hair, wore indian cloths, wore some face powder and lipstick and contact lens. My sister called urging me to look good, my mom insisted that i should look presentable but I stood my ground. This is how I usually am so this is how he should see me.
He came around 15 minutes late. My mom opened the door. I could over hear them my mom offered him water. And called out to me. I said a quick prayer to Durga ma and went to the living room. I said hi, he said hi vi (my nick name). I don't know if he even looked at me he immediatly took out flowers (red roses...I always wanted those) and sweets. He didn't seem to look at me may be because my scorpio gaze was too much for him. I stared at him trying to see what he actually thought of me. My mom was in the kitchen...we were alone in the living room. "So, what do you think?" I startled him ;) He said, "You look much more beautiful in person then in pictures and video clippings." He paused and then asked what about you? (Meaning do you like me?) I said yes. (He looked much better in person then in pictures too-- advise to the rest of you never judge a person by photo alone) As if on cue my mom brought refreshments (I have a feeling she was tuned in). I finished my drink and went in my mom asked him, and he said its yes from her too!
He called out for me and I joined them in the living room again. This time I had a cardigan and shawl wrapped around me (Delhi is cold!!! teeth chattering cold!)
His mom called on his cell phone, he talked to her in a language I don't understand but I could see that he was happy. His mom talked to me. She asked if I liked her son...(how could I not he is TDH personified). I saw affection in his eyes, they twinkled brighter then the polar star!

That night I couldn't sleep until 4 am. I knew I had just met my husband. The man that I would spend the rest of my life with....

***After the wedding he told me that he missed his metro stop because he was mesmerized with me that I was so much more prettier in person ---- I like to believe he was being honest and not just being nice ;)***

Yo Yo Day

Highs Lows Highs Lows...thats what my life is. But so many highs and so many lows just since this moring (its not even 1 yet!) so last night nephew said "Mashi come earlier" so I said what the heck money comes and goes I am going home this saturday...looked up flight rates around 2K in additition to what I have already shelled out on the tickets (they are not refundable). So this morning I give him (travel agent) a call...Mez all exicted even told xyz when he called that I am going home this weekend....even called T (she is already in India!) that I am coming! Travel agent calls says no seats available and there is one for 1 jan thats like 3 K I am like can't afford it. exictment out the window! Now I have to tell T not coming :(

Had met xyz earlier this week. And he was hopeful about something. He called and said he might have good news...mez all exicted again and then an hour later he calls and the news is not that good...mez feeling really not so good. All this rollercoaster made me want to talk to someone so I dailed abc's number and darn he has his switched off...ok this day better end on a high because I am in no freakin mood to be low!

Song fit for the occasion? Zindagi kaisi hai peheli hai...kabhi ye haansey kabhi ye rulaey...