Today was one of those days when you can't comprehend what exactly you want in life.
I am not saying I have everything, but I have what I always wanted - a normal peaceful life- but never really believed I will have.
For the last few years whenever I felt depressed I had/gave-it a reason immigration woes (no longer an issue), financial unstability (basically living of Dad's money/career establishment (no longer an issue), someone to love me unconditionally (no longer an issue), everyone I care for is healthy and happy...There isn't anything thats lacking then why do I feel so depressed, I have no reason but I feel so low so low that I wonder what is there to live for.
Friday, November 30, 2007
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10 comments:
I'd really got used to your cherry self. Its been really long, since I read something of this sort from you. It worries me. You know, I think even the most genial achievers can't be devoid of their 'blue moments' that is what I think. This too shall pass. Please take care.
Hi Vi..
How are you feeling now? I don't have a single thing that you've mentioned in your post.. no one to love, no financial independence.. and I'm invaded by this hopelessness so very often. Still sometimes when I sit and try to count my blessings.. they weigh more. Thode khushi thode gum .. This is life isn't it? When I think of you the image that comes to my mind is that of a little girl picture once Nandu had posted on your birthday :) I'm sure loads of good things are in store for a wonderful person like you.
This is getting longer n longer like a mail. So I should stop..
PS- when I'm feeling blue .. like when Sachin gets out in 90s and I want to cry .. all I need to do is .. hug Don .. and life is pleasant again :)
Waiting for the peachy you ..
Hi Flowers,
Thank you so much for such considerate and sweet "comments" *hugs*. I feel better just by reading them! When I count my blessings they out weigh the negatives too but sometimes the heart and mind just does not act rationally.
I have had to deal with hopelessness some many times that it became second nature...but as you said "this too shall pass"...
:) @ hugging Don and @ at sachin getting out at 90.
I guess you should get a pet, to keep you in good spirits (like Don does for Aria). Lagey haath thodi net practice bhi ho jaayegi.. Will keep you prepared, once you decide to start a family in future ;-)
vi,
i think it's very natural phase to go through, every once in a while. maybe that's just a genetic wiring in our brains. if you have all that you want, there won't be drive to live on. so i guess our brain plays tricks.
and i guess, there are so many wants we're not aware we have. hazaroon khwaishein aisi, ki har khwaish pe dum nikle.
maybe we need the blues to find the "satva", the basic of our I. maybe i'm just not making sense. it doesn't matter. dig deep, though. maybe you'll find something about you that you had forgotten... like the box that Amelie finds out, and gives a new purpose to her life.
take care,
asuph
Parikarma,
:) I am not a pet person but I could use the exercise.
Asuph,
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. Looking deeper...thats something I do almost everyday...
Hi Vi,
Been a long time I got onto blogsphere and when I did I have clicked on your address:)
Rejoice in that fact that you have a stable family who will love you no matter where life takes you:-)
Many of us immigrants still lack in that department:)
Hope you are doing well, otherwise!!
Aria...Superb to see here too..Got to make a trip to your page soon:D
Hi!
Hope you are feeling better now. Been a while since I dropped by. Like everyone said, the feeling comes and goes....:) Look at it this way....its almost Christmas!!!:) Hope you enjoy the holidays...and get into the spirit!
Hi Rosie,
Long time hon! How are you? I am ok now...I guess it will take me some time to get over years of you-know-what!
Hi Duhita,
Ditto long time! How are you?
The Christmas spirit does make a difference with all the lights and deco and people around you in celebratory mood does rub of...
P.S. I sometimes wonder whats so special about December...the two days off or the year end bonus ;)
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, but comedy for those who think
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