Shaadi ke baad

I was mad at D for some trivial reason. But couldn't stay mad when he said "I am not scared of earthquake, tornado, hurricane I am only scared of my wife's "Krodh" kali ma ban ke baithi ho! I smiled...even laughed despite being pissed.

And D stop reading my blog!

Time For Change?

Change is difficult (I hate change even if it is for the better!) And I know it is for the better...better job and career prospects.
I have been approached for a job that is a step up in terms of responsibility (people manager) money (15% increase), quality of life (closer to home) but I can't bring myself to take it! I reasoned with myself, cajoled myself but nope! I am scared of any kind of change, especially moving from a team of people who I care about (in non- HR violation kinda way! if you know what I mean!).
D thinks its weird to have such emotional dependency on co-workers (and he would love for me to quit my current job). May be he is right. But consider this:
I have a headache I am not only given a Tylenol, told to leave early, but dropped off and immediate work taken care of.
I can count on my team for anything - including covering for each other when late for meeting, or late on project deliverable (including staying longer hours to help each other)
Genuine happiness when something good happens to one of us (including promotions, engagements, awards etc)
Complete trust in each others intentions and capabilities
I have my boss's and colleagues personal cell phone numbers if I need them for work and non-work related
I can vent without repercussions (we have this "talk to me" sessions when one of needs to vent).
YW and Xyz have on more then one occasion "fought" for me without asking to be fought for.

Somethings are priceless...but I still know I have to move on :(( eventually...just not ready yet.

I believe in fairy tales

I was always a book worm, loved reading, especially fairy tales,- the ugly duckling, Cinderella...and even when I grew up I still believed in some of the things...but no fairy godmother came my way, no godfather or transformation and I had almost lost hope in fairy tales...what choice did I have...being a recluse and only expressing my opinions on my blog...I existed. Went to work and sometimes just said two sentences - Good Morning....Good Night...See you tomorrow.

And then something wonderful happened...I met not just one but two people who changed my life D and xyz.
D who transformed me into someone I can like some one who feels happy, feels beautiful, feels content with life.
xyz my guardian angel, took me out of my cocoon and help me evolve...from being known only to the person immediately next to my cubicle to a "people person" (knowing a thousand couldn't be an exaggeration). He instilled in me the confidence to believe in myself, to talk to people to express my opinions, to let other people know me...under his guidance I jumped ranks and bands to be where it would normally have taken me 5-7 years...a good career opportunity came my way today...I cannot seem to take it...the promise of money, power, status all seem lackluster compared a sense of contentment.

Little goddess'

My earliest memory of astami is when I was around 6 year old. All I remember is an aunty ji giving me a red chunari. After that we(sis and I) were invited to a fair share of kanjaks. As a kid, we were called to more then one house the attraction was not the food but the goodies and I must admit the money :))! Now its my turn to feed kanjaks and I see a reflection of that from the little girls that I give prashad to...the goodies are the main attraction prasad is "nice to have"...that is why I make sure that the gifts are something every little girl likes...there is nothing like seeing little eyes lightup...pure bliss

Tag!

The latest tag doing the rounds is the 5thing tag (Priya, Aria, Punds have written interesting stuff check them out!
This tag was kind of difficult...cause it meant reviewing my posts ;)

Family is mom, dad, my brothers, my sisters, my nephews, jijus, bhabhis (future mein) my Dev and my ma-in-law...my unborn ...kids...lol

Friends
I have always had at least one best friend...for the last 7 years it has been T and of course my blogger buddies

Myself...
I am emotional(fool?), sensitive, sometimes out of control, and sometimes even shararti

Love
Being a pati vrata patni (ok you've had your fit of laughter and are back reading this!) D

Anything
My work...no i don't get 6 figure salary nor is my job important - not a fire fighter, doc, nurse, teacher...just stupid IT but its an important part of my life

Time pass!

Ok people I need your help। I am completely bored of my collection of songs so need recommendation of songs from you...I am a sucker for good lyrics and senti stuff... sample this!

1. जीस Path pe chala us path pe mujhe aanchal tu bichane de
2. Tera Mera Saath Rahe
3. Husne-E-Jaana
4. Main To Pyar Se Piya tere maang sajaongi
   
5. Purva Suhani Aai Re
6. Mere Jeevan Saathi kali thi mein tu pyasi
   
7. Apni Ankhon Mein Basakar
   
8. Meri Tammanon ki Taqdeer
9. Tota Maina Ki Kahani
10. Sajan mera us paar hai
11. Aaja piya tohe pyar doon
12. Kaun Kaun Kitne Paani Mein
13. Jind Le gaya vo dil ka jani, yeh booth bejan rehgaya
    
14. Tera saath hai tu
15. Thaare Vaaste Re Dhola

P.S T is coming! She is the closest thing to a नन्द :) what with D not having any sibblings...

Discord - Mind has a mind of its own

Today was one of those days when you can't comprehend what exactly you want in life.
I am not saying I have everything, but I have what I always wanted - a normal peaceful life- but never really believed I will have.
For the last few years whenever I felt depressed I had/gave-it a reason immigration woes (no longer an issue), financial unstability (basically living of Dad's money/career establishment (no longer an issue), someone to love me unconditionally (no longer an issue), everyone I care for is healthy and happy...There isn't anything thats lacking then why do I feel so depressed, I have no reason but I feel so low so low that I wonder what is there to live for.